I Now Know Where Limbo Is

I now know where Limbo is.  It is at my house.  My computer broke and I have no idea what to do with my hands, the right side of my brain, and that butt-shaped dent in the sofa.

About a week ago, while writing, a noise started up in the bowels of my laptop.  The disconcerting noise was a loud humming that quickly began to crescendo.  I wasn’t sure if my computer was going to a) take off from my lap and fly about the room, or b) just explode. 

I couldn’t shut down the files.  I couldn’t turn it off.  It wasn’t responding.  So I did the only thing I could do.  I unplugged it, pulled out the battery, and got up to find some food.  I figured the malfunction would just go away if I gave my computer some personal time off.  I was obviously in denial.  However, when I plugged it back in and popped the battery back into its slot, it started up just fine.  So I continued to use it.

A few days later, it did it again.  But this time I knew just what to do.  I de-powered it, waited a few seconds, then booted back up.  It worked fine for the rest of the day.

However, when it did it a third time, I realized that I would have to address the problem.  I called Val and Sarah in Montana.  Val, the Computer Whisperer who can read hard drives through phone lines, told me that it was the cooling fan going bonkers. . . and to hope that I haven’t already fried my hard drive.  He instructed me to get canned air and to see if I could clear the fan of any lint, bagel crumbs, ants, hairballs, etc. that might be blocking the fan’s air flow.  Then I was to get, in the words of Val, ‘a vacuum sweeper’, and suck the debris out of the computer via the intake vent.

Vacuum sweeper.  I pictured some kind of mystery nozzle on the can of air.  When I voiced my inner vision, Val tried to respond, but was choking on his laughter.  I heard Sarah yell into the speakerphone, ‘Vaccum sweeper is the Yankee version of vacuum cleaner.’


So I followed Val’s directions to the letter, but was only able to dislodge a tiny dust bunny (dust bunny?) from the vent.  There was no way around it.  I was going to have to take my baby, little Toshiba, to the Emergency.  I chose Allied Computers because they offer free diagnostics . . . Besides, they were the first ones to call back.

Compu-man at Allied told me to bring it in.  I did . . . and waited by the phone for the test results.  Val – of course – was correct.  It WAS the fan.  But, thank goodness, the hard drive was still fine.  So now I will be Toshiba-less until sometime next week.   I am forced to use the computers at the local library.  

It’s not an easy place to work.  They only let you use the computer lab for two hours.  Plus, I am the only person in here not visiting singles’ sites.

So here I am, coping with the techno-void in my life by eating vast amounts of sugar, sleeping at odd hours when boredom overtakes me, and doing logic problems when the sugar kicks in. 

The sad truth is that, in the two years I’ve had my laptop, I’ve become addicted to keyboards.  And until I get mine back, I am in Limbo.

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17 Responses to I Now Know Where Limbo Is

  1. Thea Phipps says:

    Oh, great! The printer in the library’s computer lab is now making that noise… I think I am compu-cursed… Better get out before it blows up…

  2. Snuffygump says:

    A reoccuring theme keeps on popping up, i.e. the bowels…a day in the life of the bowels of Thea Phipps. First, the plumbing (bowels of house), now your poor notebook! What a sad story,especialy to learn that you have named your computer….a thought that had never occured to me to do, that is, give my computer(s) a moniker. I have called them plenty of unsavory names when I have messed up on them, but piece of junk is not very endearing. It is funny how computers will drive you to eat. I just ate an oreo and I’m not even having a problem with my computer right now, but it sounded like a great excuse! Being married to a ‘computer whisperer’ does have its benefits. If Val dies berfore me I will probably move into a shack deep in the hills of the Ozarks, where only dial up is available, and never touch a computer again, because, as soon as I did, it would break, so why put myself through the agony of trying to find some one to fix it, when you’ve had the best.
    It’s funny what names our clients have come up with for Val. Our chiropractor addresses him as Gates.. In fact our chiro told one of his patients the other day that if you call Val ‘Gates’, that Val will automatically give you a 10 percent discount. This patient that he spun this story to is one of our regular clients, so we will now have to come up with some equally ridiculous advertisement for the chiro with a very beefy savings. And, while I am on the name tangent, just remember in the future, when you and Randy start that family, the drawbacks of naming a REAL child after a pet…or a computer.

  3. The Kipper says:

    My Mammy didn’t name me after a computer!

  4. Maddy says:

    Lol thea. You crack me up! I hope it gets fixed soon! seems like i havnt seen you in forever!! We need to do something very soon! This weekend (2moro) I am off to convention and mal is gonna be there. Then the weekend after that mallory isnt gonna come becouse she is doing a health expo thing (?) So! I dont know when we shall do something but we need to!!

  5. Daniel says:

    I feel your pain, Thea. My laptop quit too. I found out that Dell put a faulty video card in my machine. The bad thing is that it is integrated into the motherboard so, there is no fix less than replacing the motherboard for about $500. I might as well buy a new machine. Right now I am negotiating with Dell, but they do not seem to be very sympathetic. I needed my laptop last weekend at the district convention, too. Friday night we are at the hotel and I am timing my 30-minute talk to be given the next day. It was 34 minutes. Yikes! How did that happen?! But since I had no working laptop, I just started marking up my outline. It began looking like a roadmap. I looked at it after I was finished. “How will I be able to read this?” So I took my thumb drive to the lobby. Maybe there is a machine there that I can use. Yes, there were two. Great! But neither one had Word installed. So I went to the desk and they allowed me to use their office computer in the back to rework my talk and print out a new outline. I got to bed very late, but was able to give the baptism talk the next day. When your machine breaks you realize how much you depend on it. Hope you get yours fixed soon, sis.

  6. Thea Phipps says:

    Snuffygump, Randy has informed me that if we have a boy, we will name it Dell.

    And yes, any excuse to eat something – anything – works for me… Like right now… I am fixing to eat just because I am wearing my favorite tee-shirt…

  7. Thea Phipps says:

    Hi, Maddy! We do have to get together soon! But I won’t be free for a couple of weeks… We’ll keep in touch and let you know. :)

  8. Thea Phipps says:

    Hi, Kippy! Ask your Daddy to teach you how to fix computers, so that way, if your Mammy does move into a retirement bunker in the hills, I will still be able to keep in touch with her via email. :)

  9. thea says:

    Wow, Daniel! I’m sorry. You know if I were rich I’d buy you a Vaio with web-cam and your own wi-fi box at Bethel.
    I’m sure you did great on your talk, though.
    Randy said to tell you hello, and that since he’s never touched a computer except to carry mine to the car, he feels all left out… But have the tv break down…

    Let me know how it goes on getting yours taken care of.

  10. Lisa Bauer says:

    Scary thought… I would be lost! My whole life is on my laptop… pitiful! Hope your child is home from the computer hospital soon & you can still afford to have coffee with me!

  11. Slarty says:

    Hey! Sorry to hear about your sick baby! That can be so frustrating. Glad I checked your site…I didn’t see anything on FB about a blog. Then again, I have been crazy busy with work so I probably missed it.

    I have a lot to catch you up on so send your computer get well soon wishes from me!

  12. The Kipper says:

    I don’t have opposable thumbs, a subject that I am very sensitive about. I have to get my little brother Elmo to help me just to separate jigsaw puzzle pieces! We are all at out District convention in Ogden, UT right now. Bro. Guy Pierce gave the concluding talk on Friday with the double release. Awesome!

  13. JB says:

    Boy, that is tough, especially the library part. I feel for you.

    Thank God for my programmer husband.

  14. thea says:

    Thank you, everyone, for your empathies!
    Hmmm…. I wonder if Compu-man at Allied Technologies will clean the Coke spray off the screen for me? And the fingerprints… and the chunk of croissant from under the keyboard…
    I guess I will find out sometime this week. I hope. If I get the laptop back when he promised.

  15. Lexi says:

    Whoa, im so late to respond! That tells you that I could live without the laptop, Maddy on the other hand. ;) Oh yay now I will get to send a card to your puter! i gotta find a funny one… ;)

  16. Lexi says:

    Wow I wink a lot. ;)

  17. thea phipps says:

    Hi, Lexi!
    You are fortunate that you have a life outside of computer.
    I, apparently, don’t. :)

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