I Would Be A Failure As A Waiter

I have spent a fairly good chunk of my life waiting.  Waiting for the school bus.  Waiting for the weekend.  Waiting in buffet lines.  Waiting for the bathroom.  This last month I spent all my energy waiting for my laptop to come back from Allied Technologies.  First, the fan needed to be replaced.  Then the hard drive.  Then the fan replacement.  Then the replacement of the fan replacement. 

My computer is finally back home.  However, while my Toshiba was getting surgery, I realized something about myself.  I am finally tired of waiting.  At 48, shouldn’t I have already arrived somewhere?  Yes, I’ve caught the school bus an estimated total of 5300 times.  I’ve lived through 374 weekends.  And I’ve been through way too many buffet lines.  I’ve gained enough weight over the years that I could assemble my own Sumo wrestler with the bits I’d lost off my butt alone . . . And let’s not even get on the subject of bathrooms . . . 

This week, however, when it came to waiting for my computer, I was utterly lost.  What did I do before I had a laptop?  I couldn’t remember.  If my life last month was anything to go by, apparently I slept alot, ate alot, or stared into space when I wasn’t feverishly doing puzzles to corral my ricocheting brain synapses.  Synapsis?  Synapseses?  Synapsi?  See what happens when I’m away from a spell-checker for a month?  Me – the student who never got a word wrong on a spelling test.  It’s as if my memory left with the Toshiba.

I’m afraid I didn’t wait at all well for my computer to be fixed.  Allied Technologies can attest to that.  ‘Is the part in?’ I would call and ask them.  ‘Has Toshiba sent it yet?’  ‘Are you sure it was the fan?’  ‘What time do you close?’ ‘Are you still alive?’ ‘I know you’re there – Don’t think I can’t see you!’ . . . And on, and on, and on.  I did this even though Compu-man at Allied Technologies told me in a firm voice at the end of each phone conversation, ‘We will call you when it’s ready’. 

So what did happen when my computer was finally fixed?  I had to call them to ask because they forgot to inform me.  Maybe it was a good thing that I failed as a waiter.

So, barring any more computer malfunctions, life is back to normal.  Blogging will resume.  Emails will resume.  Virtual reality will replace the real one.  Kind of sad in a way . . . except for the fact that I’m back on track and ready to write.

Here’s to keyboards, Internet, and low-level radiation! 

Remember, to leave a comment, click on the ‘Comments’ tag at the end of this blog, and don’t forget to check out the latest Photoblog on the right!

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23 Responses to I Would Be A Failure As A Waiter

  1. Maddy says:

    Haha thea You make me smile everytime i read your blog. And i can relate to the buffet lines, weekends, and bus rides. And i see you got your own picture and things up! I love it and i also love the title. Tell your computer that im glad its back!

  2. Kippy says:

    I LOVE the Jelly Beans! Did they visit you for very long? Can they come visit us next June? If you came to visit in the winter, we could all go sledding. They could do that I’m sure, except, now that I think of it, we would have to dress them in thermal zip lock baggies (snack size) so that the melting snow wouldn’t make them melt! That would be terrible, tragical!

  3. Thea, love your writing. And what DID we do before computers? Probably got a lot more done.
    Was thinking about the time you, Randy, Maude and Paul and I (and Gus of course) got lost on a mountain in service and came down in someone’s cow lot. Spent 3 1/2 hours and only one call……………….then there was the time Gus got locked up on an old well casing and Marie Brubacher and I had to jack it up and pile boards under until Randy could get it “unhung”. It was always an experience going out with you guys!

  4. Thea says:

    Hi, Maddy! I told my computer that you’re glad it’s back and I think it’s smiling…
    Or that could be gas… hard to tell…

  5. Thea says:

    Hi, Kippy! The jelly beans are very friendly! They would like you, too. And they already live in a small ziplock baggy, so they could just use that when they sled with you.
    Works great for waterskiing, too!

  6. Thea says:

    Yes, Margaret, those were the days… Randy still cringes when he thinks about you and Marie working so hard to jack the car up and over the well casing. He can’t believe he even let you do it.
    What I remember the most about coming off the mountain that time was the family standing at their house at the bottom of the mountain watching us creep out of the trees, cross their yard, and leave. They were motionless the whole time, their mouths open in disbelief. Too funny!

  7. Slarty says:

    I was kind of scared when you said you were done waiting and that at 48 you should have arrived somewhere! I’m probably the only one that thought you meant you were ready to be a missionary and travel to Africa or Paraguay. As exciting as that would be…

    I love your jelly beans! (<– haha that sounded kind of weird) Everytime i see the picture I think two things: One, mmm, I want jelly beans. Two, Wow, jelly beans with eyes…kind of disturbing…I may never be able to eat jelly beans again ;).

    And hooray for getting your laptop back. We missed you Thea's Toshiba!

  8. Snuffygump says:

    It was Gus!!! Gus was gold!….NOT named after Golda Mier. I can’t even reminisce decently anymore.

  9. Thea says:

    Slarty… you pluck the eyes out before you eat the little fellows …

  10. Thea says:

    Snuffygump, it was nearly 30 years ago.

  11. Slarty says:

    Margaret just told me all about Gus this evening at meeting! And about Gus tiring out on the 3.5 hour mountain drive. She said she always had an adventure when she went out with you! Who picked Gus? And what is the story behind the name Gus?

  12. Thea says:

    Gus was the name I called him when I bought him for my ‘pioneer’ car. Gus was what I came up with when I merged the car’s goofy appearance and sturdy motor with my goal of Gilead… Gilead – G… Gus – G…
    Oh, well. The things come up with when you’re 19.
    Like Mr. Truck, right Sarah?

  13. Snuffygump says:

    If those old work horses were around today to tell their version! Thea was known to leave Gus somewhere and just go home without him.

  14. Kippy says:

    You ate the JELLY BEANS!!!! Is that how you rewarded them for entertaining you? Just look at those little guys, they were trying so hard, and you ATE them?

  15. Thea says:

    Oh no, Kippy! The jelly beans are still here! I merely ate their blind cousins who were already dead.

  16. Thea says:

    Snuffygump, if I remember correctly, you dropped me off at my house, then called me later to inform me that I had left something at your house. When I couldn’t possibly think what it might be, you gave me a hint that I will never forget.
    “It’s bigger than a breadbox…” you said in a singsong voice.
    … Even then, it took me awhile…

  17. Slarty says:

    Thea! You left your car at Snuffy’s and you didn’t even know it!? HAHAHA That is a good story!

  18. Thea says:

    Yes, I actually left my car at Snuffy’s. However, Snuffy didn’t realize it either until she got home and the big yellow thing was blocking her spot on the drive. I blame it on our inadvertantly overeating at the Casa Taco buffet that night.

  19. Maddy says:

    Does a compuders gas smell like burnt bagel crumbs that have gotton trapped in the engine part, only to be burned to stinkin burning things???

  20. lisa bauer says:

    I am glad you are back to your self… we have missed your mental moments :),
    Alas… my little Mac is ailing as well, frozen drive. I was trying to figure out when would be a good time to take him in. But I am stumped…. there is NO good time! I don’t know how to do without my Mac :(. I would be reduced to a small town library computer for the duration! My little Mac would be thirty miles away from me at the very least!!! NOOO! I shudder to think….

  21. Thea says:

    Isn’t it funny, but just a few years ago we were happily without laptops…
    I hate my cell phone, but I would be just as lost without that, too.

  22. Maddy says:


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