CRUISING – PART 2

Ever have one of those days where you get out of bed, get dressed, go about your business, and while strolling through the Walmart parking lot you suddenly have to look down and check because you weren’t sure that you put your pants on?

I’ve had that kind of month.  This is why I haven’t written Part 2 of Cruising until now.  I almost can’t remember The Cruise, it’s been so long ago.  I actually dreamt last night that I was on a cruise with my husband.  I couldn’t find him in my dream.  That was because he was lunching with my mother on the Lido deck while someone was chasing me down to kill me.

Knock yourself out, Freud.

But to get back to our cruise – On day 1 (after a night on the water) Randy woke well before dawn and ran outside to get a picture of the sunrise. 

Weirdly enough, it went random after that.  There really wasn’t much to do while on board.  The shipboard activities included things like seminars on how to shop, raffles on winning 10 inches of gold chain, and my personal non-favorite: 

“SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE – Single and looking?  Well look no more.  This is the hot spot for singles looking to find the yin to their yang.  Must be 18 or over.”

It is no wonder that food quickly became the highlight of our day.

And sadly – and this is by way of a confession – we actually went to the seminar on how to shop.  It was either that or attending the hairy chest contest.  And we also went to the seminar on art appreciation. 

 We did that for the free glass of champagne.  Which was stupid.  We had a bottle of champagne in the cabin.  I think we hoped that the ship’s champagne would be better than our cheap bottle of Andre’s Pink.  It wasn’t.  I don’t like champagne so dry, it’s like a shot of earwax on the back of the tongue. 

I don’t know why it never occured to us to just lounge about on the Lido deck and watch the water.

Or lounge on the Serenity Deck and talk . . .

Or even just roll over and play dead . . .

After all, we ARE oldish.

But no.  Randy had to go exploring.  

This is the same man who got up before dawn.

And this is the woman who followed him . . .

. . . At a distance, because I couldn’t keep up.  Notice the halfmast eyelids.

Then . . . yippee! . . . food again!  It was dinnertime.  It was formal night.

 Every cruise has one night where everyone is supposed to dress up for dinner.  On ‘The Love Boat’ that was the night that all the romance blossomed.  On our cruise, that was the night they served the only seafood on the whole ding dang trip.  I live to eat seafood.  I’m talking about the serious stuff, not tuna fish in a foil packet.  That night they served lobster tails.  I didn’t have any.  My skirt was so tight I was afraid to move.  I couldn’t bend.  I couldn’t put my face closer to the plate.  I was afraid to eat the lobster lest I fling crustacean on our table mates.   Instead of messy lobster, I had something vegetarian on a fork. 

Then early to bed. 

Tomorrow was Cozumel!

Do you have any of your own messy food tales you want to share?  You know what I mean . . .  The chocolate truffle you retrieved off the floor when no one was looking.  Or the time Grandpa’s dentures fell into the fried rice . . .  Remember, to leave a comment, click on the ‘Comments’ tag at the end of this blog, and don’t forget to check out the latest Photoblog on the right.  Just put your cursor over the picture to read the caption, or click on one if you want to leave your comment.

And now, to watch a funny video – click on the link below and watch with the sound up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkhCxUTOPjs 

Have fun!

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10 Responses to CRUISING – PART 2

  1. Love to read these Thea. Bet you had fun on the cruise even without all the “fun” stuff to do. Loved the video at the end too. Gonna share it…….

  2. Snuffygump says:

    Oh, was this worth the wait! Val and I are dying up here, and if the cruise tale wasn’t enough, you had to top it off with the video clip!

  3. thea phipps says:

    Thank you, Margaret! Thank you, Snuffygump! We had fun on the cruise just because it was exotic being so far south in tropical waters.
    I loved that video clip, too. It’s kind of scary though, since about 40 years ago men actually believed that. XD

  4. thea phipps says:

    Randy, after seeing the video, said, “I think men were that way then, not because someone had a dumb wife, but because they knew women were smarter and they really resented it.”
    (He’s a keeper. :) )

  5. Slarty C. says:

    Great blog! I have been waiting and waiting and waiting. I was worried maybe they kicked you off the ship after the first night so there was no more story to tell. I had snails one night on our cruise ship. My mom took a picture of me taking my first bite. Actually, I think one was all I took.

    Haha “oldish” :D. I don’t think I ever got up early enough on our cruises to see the sunrise. Did you have windows in your cabin? The cabins are so dark if there are no windows…you never know about dawn. And I hope I never experience a shot of earwax to the back of my tongue.

  6. Thea says:

    I ate snails in Florida. Escargot. It was okay, but I couldn’t go beyond the first bite. Really . . . just slugs with garlic. And don’t ask me how I know about earwax.

    We didn’t have a window in our cabin. We were too deep. And in the middle of the boat.

  7. Snuffygump says:

    I have been having those pantless days that you described at the beginning of your blog, for years now. Instead of just dreaming about these fashion mishaps, I now do them. It started with wearing the panties inside out. That’s OK, no one can see that, unless I were to have the accident my mother always warned me about, then my secret would be out. But I have to say, that when this particular incident happened a couple years ago, I since have been concerned with my deteriorating mental capacity and find myself naming living presidents just to test.
    As we headed out on the hour and half drive down to the Big Hole region, I kept on struggling with my dress. The dress that I had worn a hundred thousand times. Why did it feel so bizarre,especially in the boobal region? It wasn’t until we made our 3rd stop that I finally got to the bottom of the issue. I asked to use the restroom at the home we were visiting.
    I was dismayed to learn that I had been wearing my dress backwards for about 4 hours. I’m sorry, but I cannot explain this one.

  8. Thea says:

    Hahahahahaha! Snuffygump, I worry more about the fact that your husband never noticed!

  9. Slarty C. says:

    HAHAHAHA Snuffygump! I laugh!!! That’s super funny. I have a good one. I taught aerobics the other night and wore a t-shirt and shorts. When aerobics was over, I went to the lockerroom to change out of the shorts and put longer pants on before going into the chilly weather. I pulled out the sweat pants I had packed then searched EVERWHERE for a shirt to wear. I looked in my bag, my locker, my purse and the floor. I started to panic wondering what in the world I was going to wear out of the community center. I knew I had come to the community center with a shirt on…why wasn’t it with my sweatpants?!?!? I thought “OH MAN! I am going to have wear only my coat and zip it completely so that nobody will know that I wasn’t wearing a shirt!” Then it hit me…idiot…I was already wearing the shirt!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Snuffygump says:

    Oh, Slarty! So young!!!!…………and as for my husband not noticing, this is the husband who, 4 years into our marriage, nearly 29 years ago declared, ” I thought it was supposed to be that way!” when I asked him why he didn’t tell me that my slip was showing a mile south of the border. Consequently, I have to check my own feet before walking out of a public restroom. I also have made it my personal mission to scan herds of ladies in restrooms and saving them before they walk out with their skirts tucked up under their armpits. Or other crevices.

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