Well . . . for any of those wondering, I am not dead.

I know I haven’t written a blog in weeks . . . months? . . . and the only reason I can give for my lapse is that I have been hard at work finishing my third book. I’m so behind in my writing schedule, I have had to cut some things loose for a while. Like cooking from scratch, grooming, blogging, etc. As a matter of fact, I haven’t tweezed in days. Here I am, sitting in front of my computer.

Then today when I FINALLY logged on, my blog page refused to cooperate with me.  Had I neglected my blog so long, it left me for another?  Had I entered dementia a decade early and had forgotten how to work my administrator’s page?  Was I stupidly clicking on the wrong tab?  (Like that’s never happened.)

I emailed Val, the Computer Whisperer, and begged for help.  Minutes later my husband’s cellphone rang.  Computech of Montana to the rescue!  SuperVal was on the line, saying, ‘It works fine for me.  I did a test blog and it works.  Turn on your computer!’ 

I did, and this is what I found written in my blog drafts. 

This is a test of the Thea broadcasting system. Does it work?  Is Thea just wanting attention?  Is her computer going?  Is she paranoid?

Thanks, Val. 

It turns out that it was an update that the computer faeries installed whilst I was sleeping.  I had to pry into the computer’s innards via clicks and manually uninstall.

So much for that. 

And now, for the blog . . .

For those of you who can’t remember, I had been giving you a belated account of our cruise this last winter. Part 3 was going to be about Cozumel. Quite frankly, Cozumel was so long ago, I cannot remember what happened. We pretty much wandered, avoided spending astronomical amounts of money for trinkets, and ate. A synopsis of my life. Only in Mexico.

However, let me see if I can get this blog on the road.

We parked the Carnival Ecstacy between two larger boats. We? I mean the captain. ‘We’ all waited in the stairwells, sweating while we waited to disembark. My fears at the time? I had none – unless you count the fear of contracting diarrhea from eating a Mexican ice cube.

We showed our passports and were eventually allowed to disembark. That’s when I saw how good a ‘driver’ our captain was. We were THIS CLOSE to the dock . . . And just look at that water!

When we stepped out of the bowels of the ship onto the dock we were given a wonderful photo-op. Apparently we could get our picture taken with a Mayan god for $10.00. Randy recognized him as one of the dining room waiters. (I suppose if he was real god the fee would have been $20.)

The rick-rack embellished senorita photo-op cost extra.

Then we began our loooooong walk down the pier and into downtown tourist Cozumel. (Downtown TOURIST Cozumel is different from REAL Cozumel. Real Cozumel was a mile down the road and isn’t full to the brim with souvenir trinkets. It also isn’t filled with fat white people in shorts.)

Too bad I wasn’t 300 lbs. For a nominal fee, I could have had a young boy tow me into town behind his bicycle.

But I wasn’t. I had to walk with the rest of them. Besides, we didn’t have a nominal fee on us. We were saving up our dollars to buy souvenir trinkets with all the other tourists. Not that we really wanted to. We just couldn’t afford the $100 taxi fee to go somewhere else.

The first thing we did after walking down the pier was rest. We hit Cozumel soil and found the nearest place to sit down. For a fee.

This is the 5-star resort hotel that took the money.

Here we are (or Randy is, for that matter. Someone had to take the picture) beachside, waiting for the middle age fatigue pass.

Of course the guacamole and pina colada helped.

Then, while I rested in a hammock . . .

Randy decided to go for a swim. Looks warm and tropical, doesn’t it?

It wasn’t. This was December. Randy stayed in the water only long enough to jump back out. By the time he surfaced, his nipples had all but disappeared. He donned his clothes, and we went exploring.

We found cuban cigar stores . . .

Coconuts on the tree . . .

More Mayan gods . . .

Or not.  He might have been a homeless man in need of his lithium.

And we found a restaurant called ‘The Three Amigos’. . .

They served, among other things, margaritas, chips and salsa.  And had chamberpots on the tables to hold the napkins and condiments . . .

Also at this restaurant there were water filled tubs where one could sit fully clothed, eating, drinking, or merely enjoying the view.  I found this young couple sitting in one of the tubs and asked if I could take their picture.

The gentleman informed me that he wasn’t sure.  He went on to inform me that he is running for the House of Representatives in his home state.  

‘Really?’ I said.

‘Yes,’ he said.  ‘And this isn’t my wife.’

He paused.

‘But that isn’t the worst part,’ he continued.  ‘She’s my cousin.’

Okay.  Now I knew he was pulling my leg.  Especially when his wife burst out laughing.  

We heard the signal from the boat, and it was time to head back.

Tomorrow – heading home.

Do you have any of your own vacation stories that you want to share?  Remember, to leave a comment, click on the ‘Comments’ tag at the end of this blog, and don’t forget to check out the Photoblog on the right.  Just put your cursor over the picture to read the caption, or click on one if you want to leave your comment.

And now, to watch a fun video – click on the link below and watch with the sound up:  

Have fun!

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12 Responses to FOR EMILY and ALISSA – CRUISING – PART 3

  1. Alissa says:

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I have been waiting with baited breath for the latest installment. My own cruise story was not pretty (hung over the railing or a barf bag the entire time) so I will do us all a favor and NOT relate it here.

    It was so good to see you all again last weekend! Keep writing and I’ll keep reading!

  2. Thea says:

    Hi Alissa!

    Drat! I KNEW I spelled your name wrong in the title, but was too chicken to go for what I thought. I went with the same-old-same-old Internet spelling of Alyssa. I will change the title to the right spelling soon as I finish my comment here.

    Ugh… I went on a dinner boat once without my Dramamine and found out that seasickness is not your run of the mill nausea. It is like dying. Your cruise experience has triggered my deepest sympathy, Alissa.

    Thank you for commenting! And it was great to see you this weekend too! What a Convention!

    And I promise to keep writing. I don’t think I’ll ever have another stretch like this one again. Unless I really AM dead.

  3. snuffygump says:

    I understand. I have had the same affect on me with this bathroom remodel. Except I did make the time to tweeze. Too many hunters up here to let it go as far as you did!

    Happy to read part 3 of the cruise adventures! Some of us ( Kippy) remembered and have checked back everyday, wondering where our beloved had wandered off to…….But, we all knew, deep down, that you were slaving, quite diligently, over your upcoming book. We also know that a genius at work must not be disturbed. I just know that we will all be delighted with what those pages have, waiting to lure us in……….

    Wow, tourist areas, ugh! Ugh more to the people who pay to pose! Probably something I would do, too! Except we were like you and Randy and held onto our $5. trinket allowance. I sensed quickly upon disembarking that it was best not to look at anything or anyone, or I would feel compelled to give them my greedly guarded $5. I was so selfish! I wanted that wooden armadillo! I guess that I could have scooped up a native rock from off of the ground, but someone surely would have swooped down upon me with open palm and bleeding eyes. I should have just thrown the $5 bill up into the air and run back to the ship. I never even look at that armadillo.
    But, you guys did eat off of the ship, I mean, in Cozemel? Are you sure that wasn’t a roll of toilet paper in that chamber pot?

    Dissappearing nipples…………..! …………….my brain is scarred now. Along with all the other word paintings from Thea Phipps!

    Oh! One last comment. I was quite distressed seeing you lying there in the hammock, apparently overcome by something encountered on shore. I had to blow up the shot to be able to look deper into your eyes only to discover that it was a happy sneaker hammock pose!

    Does that make you feel any better about your computer dysfunction?

  4. Kippy says:

    Winnie says: Auntie Thea? Did you bring the elepjant back with you?

  5. Thea says:

    I have nothing else to say. Your comment, as usual is entertaining.
    And thank you for being understanding. And loyal. (Thank you, Kippy) I should have put Snuffygump up there in the title with Alissa and Emily.

    As to posing, I wonder if the Mayan and his Senorita keep the pictures of some of the more unbelievable tourists for souvenirs like the tourists keep of them.

  6. Thea says:

    No, Winnie. We didn’t bring the elephant back. We unwound him and used him to dry off with. But he did get the pieces of chocolate the steward left before we dismantled him. He was happy.

  7. Kippy says:

    Winnie says: Dismanteled? What do you mean, Auntie Thea? My Mammy and Daddy didn’t have to use the towel animals to dry off after a shower. The cabins guys always gave us fresh towels and turned the used towels into our little buddies.

  8. Thea says:

    That would be nasty to reuse a used towel, wouldn’t it, Kippy? Maybe we just mopped up spilled champagne with it … not that I would ever spill any.

  9. Kippy says:

    Winiie says: That was me, Winnie, Auntie Thea!

  10. Thea says:

    I’m sorry Winnie! I knew that. I guess my brain said ‘Winnie’ but my typing fingers ran away without my brain and said, ‘Kippy’. When I come to visit sometime in the next millenium, I’ll bring all you kids a surprise.

  11. Slarty says:

    That looks like a roll of toilet paper in the bowl. At least that is where my mind went before I read about it. VERY public restrooms…one at each table.

    WOW! I can’t believe it!!!!! A BLOG!!!!!!!!!!! BEST DAY EVER! Ok I am obviously so excited. Although I did not come to the website each day to see if you had written, I was very much hoping you would again someday!

    The picture of you sitting in front of your computer also reminds me of the lifeguard I had pretend rescue yesterday (we had to recertify)…I am pretty sure I have whisker burns on my arms.

    Anyway great blog! You always make me laugh…in a good way. Cozumel is so beautiful. I absolutley love it. The water is so clear. Did you have any locals try to come after to you with their trinkets to try to sell to you? Once I had a guy try to sell me a little beaded bracelt for $15 (one I could have made at home) and I made the mistake of saying “No way, Jose”. Oops!!!! I never ever said that again!

  12. Thea says:

    No way, Jose… good one Slarty :) Yes, they did come after us. Jewelry, cruises, taxis, horse and buggy rides, etc. I thought it was fun at first. Then I felt bad for telling everyone ‘No, thank you’, so many times.

    Actually I didn’t even realize those were chamberpots on the tables until Randy said something. Of course I would have noticed if someone hoped up on their table and started using them. I’m sorry, Slarty, but that mental image keeps making me laugh. :)

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