Until I wrote a book I had never marketed anything before. Okay, let’s be honest . . . until I wrote a book I had never even touched a computer. Now, two books later, I am the proud owner of two laptops (one made out of stone a la Fred Flintstone, the other – last year’s model), a Web site, and 25 pounds of frozen mochas distributed evenly all over my body, including my face.
On the wise marketing advice of my Compu-guru (WebMaster sounds so Ronco Infomercial) . . . of course, Compu-guru sounds like the guy who gives frequent flyer miles to yogic flyers . . . but to continue to my point . . . I took the wise advice from my Compu-guru and held a drawing for a free copy of my first book, ‘Charades with a Lunatic’. A copy each to three brave winners. The drawing was to come from the names of those who had registered on my Web site’s community forums.
Not knowing how to navigate my way around the administrator’s page, it took me a while to find all the names of the people who had registered. I was clued in as to my ignorance when I asked my friend Josh Moore to register. He told me that he already did. I crawled back to my admin page and experimented until I found the right spot. That was when I’d also learned the value of scrolling down the WHOLE page . . . Who knew?
Internet Ignorance . . . it should be recognized for the behavioral condition that it is . . . It’s a bit like kleptomania. It doesn’t ever go totally away without professional intervention. Not only was I woefully ignorant about my own Web site, I was ignorant about media marketing. Until I developed my Web site, I thought MySpace was just a word. I did not know of its marketing potential until my Compu-guru showed me.
We gave it a try. Then we added a free service that added ‘Friends’ to link up to your site on MySpace. It would suck people in from all over the world to look at your site. Great advertising, right? So into the databases of the free service we programmed in the kind of people we were looking for – thinking that keywords like ‘publishing’ and ‘author’ would be sufficient clues to the Friend Adder.
I suddenly found myself deluged with people in the music business, all looking to me to publish their music and make them famous. Overnight, I became friends with FleshRaker, Glitz and Grime, The Big Sexy Computer Casanova, Bloodshed Remains, Twin Freaks, SkullPanties, and, my personal favorite, Batteries Aren’t Food . . . to name a few. I am now permanently off of MySpace. I am still deleting the numerous acceptance emails from my Yahoo Inbox. I’ve got 54 to go. Of course, I am keeping the Complimentary Laser Hair Removal Offer that slipped in by accident, though I did not keep the offer: How to Become a Federal Agent.
I then tried to get on Twitter. I wasn’t smart enough to wait for my Compu-guru to help me. When I tried to register and open a Twitter page, it wouldn’t accept my name. Apparently there are more than seven Thea Phipps somewhere on the planet using Twitter. Frustrated, I typed in Author . . . thought a minute . . . then added Thea. I now have a Twitter account where I am known as AuthorThea. I’m inordinately grateful that I didn’t give in to my pique at that moment and type in ‘SkullPanties’.
However, to get back to the point . . . here are the three brave winners of the drawing :
There were many who had registered, and for that, I THANK YOU. Together, we might make a go of this yet.